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I was hoping not to have to write this letter, but I feel that some things need to be said. For starters, this is not a personal attack against anyone, so please don’t take it that way. I just feel that in order to live in a lower stress environment, we need to make some things known.

For starters, everyone here has a pretty good deal. There is not a place in town that you would want to live in that you could get by on for about $350 a month with utilities. The Jason’s usually deal with the trash, most of the dishes, vacuuming and cleaning of the downstairs, etc. That being the case, in order to attempt to all live in harmony (well, more harmony than lately) this is how things are going to be. If you don’t like it, no one has a lease here and you can move out whenever you want, but I think that is an extreme and that everyone can follow these guidelines so we can all get a long and live with each other better. Again, I am not trying to be an asshole or call people out, so please don’t take it that way. We’re all guilty of a few things.

Bedrooms:

- Please keep your doors closed when you are not in your room. This is mostly because of Toby. If you keep your door open and an animal pees, poops or pukes in your room, don’t ask a Jason to clean it up.

- Food left in bedrooms can attract bugs, so if you eat in your room, please throw all food-related trash away downstairs as soon as you can. Also, please don’t leave dishes or cups in your room, it can attract bugs too, but when the dishwasher is about to be run, I am uncomfortable going into your room looking for things that need to be washed. It seems we always have a shortage of glasses. I dunno why this is but try and help out by having them downstairs so they can be washed.

- If you are not in your room, please try and remember to turn off all electric equipment. Computers, TVs, fans, etc all drain juice and since I don’t expect us to cut back on water - we all love our showers and I don’t wanna “when it’s yellow, let it mellow”, lets try and all save money by conserving electricity. Especially since natural gas is going up and its gonna start getting colder.

Bathrooms:

- There are 2 sides to the sink. Decide who gets what side, and as long as its not filled with dirty funk, let them keep what they want there. Clutter is not something to be embarrassed of. A dirty bathroom is though. Soon the downstairs bathroom will be done so guests won’t have to go upstairs.

- Wash your towels regularly. Usually 4-5 days is the max you should have it before it starts to get funky. If you need more towels or don’t have laundry soap, just ask. we can work something out.

Downstairs:

- Try and wipe up after you fix food and if you put dishes in the sink try and rinse them off first. For some reason a colony of ants likes us and ants are nasty. This is something we are all guilty of except maybe Sean, since he usually goes to his girlfriend Wendy’s for dinner.

- If someone is downstairs watching TV and you want to listen to music or vice versa, be polite and ask the person who was down there first if it will bother them. But also remember, everyone has a TV in their room and everyone has headphones as well.

Parking:

- The only way to put this is gonna sound mean and bitchy but there is no other way to put it. The Jasons and Sean have driveway parking, Ian and visitors have street parking. We live in a rather safe neighborhood. Out of the 10 crimes reported on our street so far this year, one was me reporting my plates stolen, and most others were stupid things like “annoying phone calls” or “runaway”. Neither we nor our guests should feel unsafe here at night. If you have a guest here and Sean is not going anywhere, it would probably be ok to park behind him, just ask. It’s usually just a whole lot easier to have them park on the street in the long run.

- This is sorta parking related, and hasn’t been too bad lately, but please try and pick up the paper off the driveway daily.

There’s probably more, but I think this will hopefully solve most of the drama and arguments. And please don’t come to me after reading this and saying stuff trying to defend yourself or coming up with reasons why things shouldn’t be this way. That will just piss me off- and I’m sleeping with the landlord so don’t piss me off I don’t wanna say “if you don’t like it, leave” but um, yeah if you don’t like living here, as I said before, no one has a lease, you can move out at any time. Let just all try and get along. I think we all have a pretty sweet deal here so let’s not ruin it by infusing it with drama and gossip.

The Jew has spoken.